Girls are told to be skinny but not too skinny and to wear makeup but not so much that guys can tell and to dress in revealing clothes but not too revealing or else you’re a slut and a hundred other contradictory standards so I think guys can deal with being made fun of for wearing fedoras
mum: “do your homework!”
i cant believe they named an entire dog breed after pitbull
when my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton came up to our cart and got right in my three year old brothers face and whispered “are you scared?” and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave
One day last semester I was on the bus heading to class and I was like ‘fuck class started ten minutes ago I’m going to be late again.’
And then I looked down and realized that my professor was in the seat in front of me editing his powerpoints for the class that we were both supposed to be in.
my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you